Sunday, 5 August 2007


Thursday 8.30am

Social occasions worry me. Entering a room full of people that I don't know is the difficult bit. As I walk in all I can see is the backs of heads, people all in little groups conversing. I usually end up creeping round the edges hoping to spot someone else as lost as I am, and equally gratefull for a friend. ("for a friend" ?, "will you be my friend ?" obviously this all stems from some part of my childhood) At least I don't drink too much and say stupid things anymore, but I am often left to sit and watch everybody else, which is actually quite enjoyable in itself, but not the way it should be done. No, it seems you should walk into the room, go right to the centre and just introduce yourself. I am cringing already just writing that. A black vision fills my head, I can see myself walking in, saying hello, and then a sudden silence as everybody stops. The moment stretches on with all the pregnant nervousness of blowing up a balloon. Time stretches and stretches, and stretches, and stretches until, . . . . pop! the moment breaks and everybody just starts talking to each other again, leaving me alone and looking rather silly. Some people don't have this problem. If they walk into a room people stop and look. If they speak people will listen. There is just something there . . . a certain confidence perhaps, I just cannot put my finger on it. Some actors have it, there is one that if I met her we would not even need to talk, I could happily just watch her breathing, these people just stop me dead in my tracks. Sting for another one, there is just something about the way he photographs, something in his eyes that makes me stop and want to read about him. But it is not all about looks, although there are as many ideas of beauty as there are people in the world, some people are just not that good looking really, but still fascinating. No, there is something inside them that comes through. This quality has a name of course - Charisma, but that does not tell me what it actually is. I am intrigued.

Picture is Helena Bonham Carter film still from "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" I think, I found it on Rockin' Tim's blog but I don't know the original photographer/source to credit.

Now the cynical among you, Nicola, will probably say this is all just a ploy to get a picture of a certain actress on my blog. but in my defence I will say that I have not mentioned her till the picture credit.

She does look good though.

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