Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Fear

Sunday 8.40am

Fear is a paralysis. It grips and envelops you tightly, tautly. You cannot move, you cannot think. Your brain has stopped, pinned by indecision. Run, yes run, thats what you want to do but you cannot, things will only get worse if you do. But still you do not want to be here, to do this. Paralysis, indecision, fear. Strangely enough it is all about the future, what might happen, and the past, what did happen, but not about now, nothing is happening now. Paralysis in time. Somehow, despite your whole body screaming " RUN " you force yourself onwards, shaking now so that you have to clasp your hands together to stop it showing. Worried that your voice will also betray your fear you do not speak unless asked and then only tersely. And still nothing has happened. Your very being is now stretched to breaking point, your imagination latches onto every sound, every movement and tells you that the worst is about to happen, is just about to happen. I am a dentist. I see fear like this numerous times every day. And every time a little bit rubs off onto me. I may not be sitting where you are, and I may not be you, but believe me I know how it feels.
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