Sometimes even Jack Johnson isn't enough

Wednesday 9.00pm

Tiredness is a killer isn't it ? Been doing too much lately and I am very weary. I just want to sit and stare into space but all the parts that make up family life keep nagging at me to get done. And to make matters worse, in an effort to get some space I have been staying up later and later at night and so just end up tireder in the mornings. When it gets like this, eventually something happens that is just too much and everything suddenly collapses.

It was one of those occasions recently. It started well, Nicola and I went out to the farmers market and did some shopping. But of course it took longer than expected and when we got back home there was still lots to do. And then it happened. Nicola discovered that I had forgotten to do something that she had asked me to and would now have to do it herself. That was that final straw, she got angry, I couldn't see why, and pretty soon we were growling at each other from separate rooms.

It is all fine now of course, but it makes you think. And what I think is that we have a very strong relationship. If we had had a lot of nagging annoyances with each other lying just under the surface what would the outcome have been.

I am glad that we don't.


(At least I don't - perhaps I should ask Nicola . . . . . .)

A Dream

Thursday 7.02am

I dreamt that I was walking alongside a wide river with high banks on either side. There was me, my family and my brother John. It was a lovely day, still and sunny and we chatted happily as we walked upstream. unseen by us though the river was rising, these huge tongues of water were rushing upstream behind us. We turned to look but it was too late and the water overwhelmed us and we were suddenly tumbling along within the chaotic foam rushing along the banks. There was no way we could escape, it was too rough, but splashing about desperately we all gradually found ourselves on the very top of the huge mound of water. Although we were still being carried along at a tremendous pace, it was actually quite calm up there and with a few strokes of our arms and legs we could keep on top, almost surfing along, quite safely and enjoyably really. John though kept just lying there not paddling and I could see him sliding off towards the foam again. "John" I kept shouting, "You have to swim a little, or you'll slide off again" And he would but then stop again and I would have to shout once more.

And then I woke up, there was a cat looking at me, purring happily. It was ten past three in the morning.