A Work in Progress

Saturday 8.30pm

I love naan bread but making it at home is a kind of work in progress. Not having a tandoor is the problem I think, you need that fiery volcanic heat to cook them rapidly. The dough I just make in the breadmaker nowadays. A simple dough of dried yeast ( surebake ), flour, salt, sugar and water. For naan I now add a tablespoon or so of yoghurt which gives a softer dough. Standing by the cooker tonight, waiting for the oven to heat up I noticed my grill pan. Yes! , thought I, fiery volcanic heat, I could start them in the pan then finish off in the oven. So once the pan was smoking, in the first one went, dry no oil or anything. Once bubbles appear turn it over, and yes, lovely brown stripes and a few charcoaled bubbles. They cooked right through so the oven was unnecessary as was brushing them with melted butter and scattering black onion seeds whilst cooking. All this achieved was huge billowing clouds of smoke ! So next time - roll them out thinner, and brush the butter on after they are cooked.

My Le Creuset grillpan was a wedding present from Nicola. It is cast iron, nonstick and very beautiful. Very much my favourite implement in the kitchen, and yes, for me it has to be circular those square shaped ones just ain't right. It also took ages to find, Nicola hates going shopping with me.

Chameleon 6

Chris woke and glanced at the time, eight o'clock. The holidays, Yay ! But as she reached out for her mobile to txt Jacky she suddenly remembered where she was - Outer Space. Well grannies actually, but it might as well be outer space, how could she live in the only place in the country with no signal. And why did she have to go there anyway ? She was fifteen, old enough to be at home on her own. Just because her parents both worked. But her mum had been adamant, never again, not after last time. Last time, here we go again, the "me, Jacky and the Jack Daniels incident" mum was so unreasonable, it was only one bottle, and they had cleaned most of the mess up themselves, that was being responsible wasn't it ? But no, grannies it was. Jaks was probably snogging Mark right now. Well not right now, it was only eight o'clock but you know what I mean, just because I said I fancied him. Her and her new push up bra, god it was like talking to the fruit display at Asda. Laughing, she got out of bed and stood sideways in front of the mirror, studying her own rather more flatter figure. Stuff them she thought, at least gran does have broadband, I can get on and talk to my real friends. Chris for one, he was cool. Same age same name, they could be twins, name twins she thought with a smile. Chris, she had hoped to meet him during the holidays but that was going to be difficult now she was stuck out in the wilds near Peebles, but granny might want to take me shopping and at least mum was out of the way. No mum he is not a forty six year old balding, grey haired pervert. You can tell you know, they think they are being all "trendy and with it" but they just sound stupid, we always know. And yes I will meet in a public place, and yes I will tell someone where I am going, and yes I will have my mobile on me, if you get me that phone card I asked for weeks ago that is. Parents, they had no idea.

Chameleon 5

As Chris smiled happily to himself, John guided him back along to the office. " I hope you don't mind Chris, but before you get too settled we need to do some paperwork first." Amy stood back from the table behind a chair as they entered. " All ready " she said, and Chris walked round to join her. " Don't sit down just yet, we need a swab first " " DNA test, purely routine but necessary ", she had clear plastic gloves on and was holding a long test tube. " From the inside of your cheek, open wide " of course, just like on Trisha Chris thought as Amy efficiently wiped a large cotton bud inside his mouth and popped it back into the tube. While Amy wrote on the tube label John gave instructions. " Have a seat Chris" " this is a simple psychometric test, purely voluntary, but will help us get to know you further, you don't mind ? " Chris shook his head, John was looking across at Amy who was shaking the tube. She stared into it for a second then returned his look and nodded curtly. " Ok, simple multiple choice, there are a lot of questions but do not think too much, just the first thing that comes into you head. There are no right or wrong answers " " Oh, and there is no time limit. Ready ? " Born ready, Chris loved this type of test. He began.
Do you consider yourself a happy person ? You find a wallet containing five hundred pounds, what do you do with it ? You are asked to give a speech to your whole school, how do you feel ? Chris ticked the answers one by one, quickly, efficiently he was totally absorbed. Your best friend lets you down badly, do you forgive them ? John and Amelia had long since wandered off. You are walking in the desert, you see a turtle on its back, struggling, what do you do ? Chris snorted, yeah right, I may be a replicant. Your brother commits murder and asks for your help, do you ? In what circumstances is animal experimentation acceptable ? You discover the last few pages in a library book are missing, how do you feel ? Do you agree with genetic engineering ? Do you enjoy poetry ? If you could choose the colour of your babies eyes, would you ? Finally the last tick on the last question went in. Chris sat back feeling more than satisfied. An hour and a half had gone by, the evening sun was now shining through the window throwing his shadow onto the far wall where the strange pictures hung. He gazed quietly at them, and as he did so, like Russian dolls, his silhouette enveloped one of the strange cauliflower shapes exactly. Chris's heart stopped. Not cauliflowers, no . . . brains. Slices of human brain. A chill enveloped him as his very being tried to leave him, running. Amy popped her head round the door " All finished ? " Chris came to with a start and looked at her wide eyed. " Hungry . . " she began then stopped, and looked back to where his eyes had been. " Oh, the pictures, creepy aren't they " laughing, she continued " John inherited them from our old professor. I keep telling him to take them down but he won't be persuaded." "Anyway you must be hungry, come on, dinners ready "
They ate in the kitchen sitting at the table. Spaghetti with some sort of cream sauce,bread, and salad. And there was wine as well, he never got to drink at home. These were his real parents, he was convinced now. Real parents would treat you like this, like an adult. The evening wore on, Chris sat quietly listening to John and Amy chatting about their day, watching them, contented. Eventually the wine and the day's excitement took their toll and, as his eyes began to droop he said goodnight and headed to bed. As he walked along the hallway past the office his eyes were drawn in. The pictures were still there, glittering in the reflected orange glow of the street lights.

A shiver passed through him.