Showering

Wednesday morning 8am

Hospitals scare me. Not in a " boo ", jump, ha ha way but deeply in that place under the bed or behind behind the wardrobe in my mind. A place so deep and so frightening that I am scared to even think about it. It is not death that scares me. If I was run over tomorrow, ok I would be a bit pissed off but it happens. I think it might be the slow run up to an inevitable death that is the problem. It is what torture works on - the fact that is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it. Lack of control ? - perhaps, it certainly explains my abhorrence of animal experimentation.
This was all brought on by the bathroom here. There is a big shower enclosure, but also a bath with one of those chair lift things over it. Modern hospitals are not to bad, it is mostly beeping electronic machines, but wartime or fifties hospitals with their clumsy mechanical stuff like iron lungs absolutely petrify me.

I think I may have some issues that need addressing here